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Mostly people around me know that my current problem now is my relationship with my thesis thang. It’s always so complicated. I got so pissed when someone ask about “how’s your thesis going?” It’s always hard to explain. People don’t exactly understand what is happening but they’re like really push me so hard. It’s like they thought that I wasn’t trying or something although I always do my best. I know that I’m not the only one. Almost all my friends have this complicated relationship with their thesis. We deal with our problem almost with the same way: cry overnight, pray so hard, work so hard, and some of them will talk with their parents to just say "sorry" or told them about what happened.

Me? I’m not the person who always talk about my personal things with my parents. And sometimes this is really hard for me. I don’t want to make my parents sad with what happened to me recently. It’s fair enough I guess at the first place. I’ve never seen so sad or even confused in front of them about all this things. They don’t need to know that I have bad dreams almost every night because of the stress.

But today I don’t know why I even cry when my mother called. I really want to do that, tell my parents what happened, months ago, to make them understand. It’s always hard. But today, My mom called and we argued about something and, ya also thesis , until I said "It seems like you don’t understand, Mom. I’m trying. I’m trying." And I cried like a baby. On the phone. My Mom just said “So, what do you want me to do?” before got cut off. I still cry and I feel bad ofcourse but I feel so relieved. And few minutes later My Mom called again and she said “I’m so sorry I’m too hard on you. Don’t think about anything else, just do what you have to do, okay? Don’t miss sholat and pray hard. Don’t think too hard, okay?” I couldn’t answer it ‘cause I was crying. So hard.

Maybe that’s the first time I talk honestly about what I feel recently to my parents, especially My Mom. No says “I’m fine” and other lies, just say what I want to say. It feels so nice I guess, ‘cause now my parents know what I feel and I just need a support in a form of an understanding. Understand that her daughter fight with the best way she can. I love you Mom, Dad<3 nbsp="" o:p="">